Friday, July 29, 2011

ideas that resonate

I began this blog earlier this year to try and make some sense out of the devastation we faced as a family last year when Sunday was stillborn. I wanted to record the road we were about to travel, to a destination where there were no obvious directions.

I had no idea that what I would stumble on, would be my 'raison d'etre'.

I started to understand the real value of connecting with people in a true sense. I discovered inner strength on the flip side of the shame and vulnerability that hit me when Sunday died.

Writing and talking seemed to help make sense of an otherwise confusing and numbing experience. Sharing my story and hearing others peoples' stories has guided me through the healing process and given me insight into a broader perspective of life.

Here's some thoughts translated from Tao, that resonate......

            "To be whole, let yourself break.
             To be straight, let yourself bend.
             To be full, let yourself be empty.
             To be new, let yourself wear out.
             To have everything, give everything up.

             Knowing others is a kind of knowledge;
             knowing yourself is wisdom.
             Conquering others requires strength;
             conquering yourself is true power.
             To realize that you have enough is true wealth.
             Pushing ahead may succeed,
             but staying put brings endurance.
             Die without perishing, and find the eternal.

             To know that you do not know is strength.
             Not knowing that you do not know is a sickness.
             The cure begins with the recognition of the 

             Knowing what is permanent: enlightenment.
             Not knowing what is permanent: disaster.
             Knowing what is permanent opens the mind.
             Open mind, open heart.
             Open heart, magnanimity."

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


photo by jen hosking

When my Dad suddenly died it was like being struck by a bolt of lightning, overnight my world changed. Up until that time my life had been secure, predictable and safe. Suddenly I became intensely afraid. In order to recover myself I decided I needed to be kind to the world that had so cruelly taken my father. 
I had the intense need to do 'the right thing' in order to make up for losing my Dad. I was struck by the notion of karma. I felt my actions could change my world and make everything better. Did it change? I really don't know, perhaps it was my first insight into understanding compassion. 

Yet again this feeling has surfaced, not so much the element of karma but rather the need to be there for others. The more we can connect with each other and share our stories the more enriched our lives could be.

Taking a moment to stop and have a conversation and really listen to what someone has to say or to discuss what is on your mind or sharing an experience, is an important aspect of what it means to be human. Smiling at someone in the street, talking to neighbours and sharing thoughts with friends is what life is all about. 

Sometimes we just need to rethink the important stuff in life.

Friday, July 22, 2011

asleep in their dreams

   Asleep in their dreams
   Here under the apple tree
   Blossoms hang heavily
   Nodding in the humidity

   In the bones of branches
   My secrets, tangled and held
   Dressed in drowsy fragrant lace
   tears fell amid the pink embrace
   The bruised haunt of lovers’ death
   I Hunger for my own demise
   Here where I lost you
   Here where I wait for you

   shared and written by tracy hickling

Tuesday, July 5, 2011


Sunday will always burn brightly in my heart.

She has brought people together, has allowed us to share feelings and intimate details of our life. She has inspired creativity and helped us discover who we really are.

When all seemed to be lost she gave me the strength to gather my thoughts and to realise this is all part of life and living. She has given me a richer understanding of what it means to be alive and appreciate those around who have loved and continue to support us.

Our lives have been enriched by those generous souls who have surrounded us with their thoughtfulness. To all those who have joined us on our journey, you know who you are, we will always be grateful, you have renewed our faith in what friendship truly means.